Monday, March 1, 2010

From the Racetrack to the Scenic Route


In April it will have been a whole year since I last posted! Time seems to have rolled past me the way an ocean wave hits the shore - there one second and gone the next. Honestly, I will not try to catch you up on what has been going on in my life I will just fill you in on the current. I must warn you - I haven't written in so long that the sound of the keys of my computer tapping are blessing me so and the ideas that are running through my head are many so no telling how long this entry will go:)




For the last three years, I have been attending the Wholeheart Conference in Dallas for moms. The everyday life of a mother can sometimes be like that of a racecar track -wake the kids, feed the kids, groom the kids, school the kids, feed the kids, clean the kids, play with the kids, feed the kids, bedtime with the kids then repeat. Each year I roll into the conference weary and roll out ready. I just love that the Lord will cause a mandatory detour of racetrack parenting to scenic parenting. The Lord was faithful to use the Clarkson family to encourage the off road experience of making lasting memories, fullfilling moments and tiny details count in the precious lives of my children. How often have I seen them as speed bumps-little people slowing me down or getting in the way of the seemingly import tasks at hand.




The Lord was faithful to parent me this weekend. I know he took my hand and took me the scenic route -reminding me that He is at the wheel. He showed me from His word (psalm 145) what His parenting looks like and that I am to model that. As a parent to Stacy Buck, He is merciful and compassionate, slooow to get angry, and filled with unfailing love towards me. As a parent to Stacy, He is good to each of His children - none is greater than the other. As a parent to Stacy, He always keeps his promises; He is gracious in all He does. As a parent, He helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads. My Father received me this weekend bent beneath the load of giving all I have in too many directions. He was faithful to lift it (my discouragement as a mom) off my shoulders and show me a different route to parenting successfuly in His shadow.




On the first night, Sally Clarkson, shared a wonderful message about rest. One of the most precious scriptures she shared with us from the whole weekend was, "Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me. Psalm 131:2" The Lord calmed me down, showed me How much He loves me and that I am still the parent He handpicked for precious Masie, Katelyn and Gunner.




When the conference was offically over, some girls and I had coffee in our hotel room and the Lord met us there. Following is a scripture that He gave us and I see it as the road map to success this year as a wife, mother, daughter, employee...Hebrews 12:12 So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.




Marking out a straight path for my feet begins with spending time at Jesus' feet. A straight path for my parenting isn't going to come from the next parenting book but reflecting and looking at the way Jesus has parented me. Not once has He demanded with a very ugly face in a scary voice for me to COME HERE CAUSE I SAID SO! A straight path for me as a wife is to plan time - to make a decision early in my day-to make time for my husband. A straight path for me as an employee is give it all I got while they have me but when the day is done-I am done. There has never in my 13years of married life been so much competetion for my family.




My precious little nest, filled with tiny little beaks


Won't always be noisy but oneday quiet and meek.


These little chicks won't always demand from the hen


cause one day they will fly not wanting back in.


Until the day comes when their wings take flight


I will no longer drive the racetrack but gently tuck them in at night.


No longer will the daily grind be so dingy and glum


I will sing and dance, draw and play - blow the biggest bubble w a package of gum!


My precious little flock - covered with the softest of down,


The thought of you removes any frown.


You are my darlings, and I am your hen


When you come - I will always let you in.


Your feathers are growing - the colors of your personalities are showing


No longer will my day go round and round


Praise God for the scenic loop I've found.


Stacy


p.s. I returned home from my weekend away a night early based on a gut feeling of needing my nest. When I got home 2 of my 3 chicks were sick. One with fever 104.7 and mild pnemonia. I spent last night going between rooms praying and loving on these children. Guess what comforted them the most - nuzzeling as close to me like a weaned child.




Sunday, April 19, 2009

Miracle-Gro for the Soul







I would like to invite you to NWH United Methodist Church on Saturday May 9th at 1:30. I will be giving a talk to Mothers and Daughters (the age of the daughters is up to the mother's discrestion) called, Miracle-Gro for the Soul. Many of you may have heard me give this talk 6 years ago at the BRCC Ladies Retreat. When I said yes to this engagement, I thought, "piece of cake, I've got that talk on my computer." Several weeks later my computer crashed...



In my window sill right now are two bouquets of roses that were cut from the yard this week. I have maybe two more days to enjoy them before their stems get fuzzy and their petals darken and drop. No blossom lasts forever. However, that doesn't mean the plant they were cut from will not. While pruning our bed of Knockout roses I was reminded of why a gardener prunes. A gardener doesn't "cut back" to hurt the plant or because he is tired of looking at it's blooms. It is the opposite: the Gardener enjoys the blooms so much that He prunes the older blooms to make room for more new ones.



So often I have experienced God and significant growth takes place. My spiritual roots grow deeper and my life bears the blossoms of this growth. However, I have wondered why these blossoms don't last long. The petals of my good intentions fall to the ground. God whispered to me in the rose bed this week, "Those blossoms in your life were not meant to be lovingly looked at forever, I trim them back to make room for more. I dwell in the new growth." I believe my computer crashed for a reason. God doesn't want me to deliver a bouquet of roses from 6 years ago with slimy, fuzzy stems. The MASTER GARDENER has been at work and there are fresh flowers to be picked -species that I had not known before. Their aroma will strengthen the weak, draw close the weary and deepen the roots between mothers and daughters...including my own.



Miracle-Gro for the Soul

only you, God can make these hearts whole

Master Gardener walk with me

Fill me up, give me Your eyes to see

Bring the moms and their daughters, too

Show us what it means to walk with You.

The road is narrow, the passerby is few

Fill our lives with the fragrance and the freshness of dancing for You.

Prune us Lord - I know you must

For the buds of new growth are about to bust

Stir up the hearts, remove the stones

so Your princesses can receive their thrones



The mother/daughter tea is open to the public and free of charge. Hope to see you May 9th - God has fresh flowers being delivered with your name on them:)

Friday, March 27, 2009

PRAYER




The other night Masie was holding Gunner and I suggested she pray for him. Her prayer went like this, "Dear God, I pray that Gunner would learn to burp the ABC's and that You would teach him to blow smoke rings like daddy. In Jesus name AMEN!" Now Masie didn't follow a formula or hold back who she was just because she was talking with God. She prayed what was on her heart - even though it was burps and smoke rings. I think this prayer was precious to God - I can just picture the sound of His laugh filling up heaven! No wonder Jesus said, "Let the children come to Me".
My children experienced a God moment this week about prayer and faith. We adopted a new dog named Ruby. We had her for about 20minutes before she ran off. We spent four hours calling and searching for her. Remember we live on 13 acres but are surrounded by hundreds of undeveloped acres. We knew if we were going to find her we needed to do it before dark. Coyotes, hogs and mt. lions are all very real threats...not to mention she has no idea of where she lives now. As Katelyn and I searched she kept repeating -peeese God! Oh peeese God! Masie also prayed for God to bring Ruby home. Masie was especially disappointed when we didn't find Ruby. She said, "But I prayed". Have you ever said that? Two days went by without any sitings of Ruby. Hope was just about lost when I heard a noise on our back deck. There was Ruby bounding with energy and skinny as rail. Her tail was wagging as if to say, "I'm home, I'm finally home!" If we would have found her the first day it would have been possible to see God's hand. However, for her to find us was God's hand and both my girls recognized it. They shouted and sang praises to God for He answered their prayers. Waiting is sometimes part of God's plan- a hard thing to learn.
In my front yard yesterday, my niece Hannah, told me about a prayer she prays. When Hannah goes to bed at night she sleeps on top of her covers (so she won't have to make her bed in the morning:). She covers with a small blanket. When asked if she gets cold she simply replied, "No, I just ask Jesus to snuggle with me...and He does!".
Following is a scripture that I came across yesterday and know that I am to share it with you.
Psalm 116:1-2,5-6 I love the LORD because he hears and answers my prayers (even if I have to wait). Because he BENDS DOWN AND LISTENS, I will pray as long as I have breath! How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! The Lord protects those of CHILDLIKE faith.
Burps and smoke rings or serious things
God can take whatever you are willing to bring.
He can find that which is lost
Waiting can be a priceless cost
Ask Him to "snuggle"
He will draw you close
His embrace will comfort you most.
Talk to Him
For He bends down from heaven and gives you his ear.
Come as you are, He is waiting for you
His unfailing love will see you through.
When you cry out, when you lay your burden down
You begin to focus on Him loosing your frown.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Mommy Loves...







In case you ever wonder,
If you ever want to know,
Following are mommy's loves
May you take them where you go.
MOMMY LOVES...
the smell of homemade bread (even if it didn't rise)
MOMMY LOVES...
the color blue that God painted your eyes
MOMMY LOVES...
the National Anthem sung at a High School Football Game
MOMMY LOVES...
the God who knows my son's name
MOMMY LOVES...
to hunt for SPRING, to search for SPRING'S first flower
MOMMY LOVES...
to hear a child singing in the shower
MOMMY LOVES...
the feel of fresh sheets on the bed
MOMMY LOVES...
to rub her lips across an infants' head
MOMMY LOVES...
a wildflower bouquet given by a child
MOMMY LOVES...
our family we aren't afraid to be a little wild
MOMMY LOVES...
your daddy who is gentle yet so strong
MOMMY LOVES...
to dance with children when she hears a silly song
MOMMY LOVES...
the way you smile with your whole body
MOMMY LOVES...
the sound of the voice that you are discovering
MOMMY LOVES...
that you are my boy
That alone has brought MOMMY much joy!




Sunday, January 25, 2009

Baby Blues










Wow! Gunner is a month old now and time has flown by. He has the best "Baby Blue" eyes I've ever seen. Week number 3 was a roller coaster of emotions. I don't know how many of you moms have experienced "Baby Blues" but I have found out I'm not the only one. God bless my husband, children, extended family and close friends who endured the week of being REALLY grumpy. Okay grumpy is too nice a word - volcanic is a better discription. Moments away from spewing hot and harmful words on anyone in my path - crying rivers of tears over nothing. Several months ago God promptedme to meet with a seasoned mother of two (who are now grown). I never made a date with her until last week. I saw her at church and knew it was time. I met at Starbucks and cried my eyes out. She listened, offered great advise and was real about her own experiences of motherhood. The best part of the whole meeting was when her married daughter happened to walk in for her morning "fix" and painted a picture of hope for me. Our kids grow up (I don't mean this sarcastic;) - our labor for them is not in vein. Here was this beautiful young bride and fantastic grown daughter who serves the Lord and I am confident calls her mother "Blessed". She is who she is because of the incridible mother she has. Even though I did not order any coffee my cup overflowed with hope that I am not a crazy or bad mother but just a tired one. This friend's assignment for me was to get outside and enjoy the sites, sounds and sunshine. This was just one my meetings of the morning that had God's fingerprints all over it.

Next was my visit with Dr. Feinstein (she's the best). She walked in and said, "Oh my, this is the first time I've seen you that you aren't bouncing off the wall with energy". With that the tears began to flow. She spent over 30 min with me brainstorming a way out of the dark fog I was in. She basically spent her lunch hour with me listening and making me laugh. It's a priviledge to call her a friend. She said if "medication" isn't for you then you have to exercise. Exercise produces endorphins (God's happy pill) which I am in desperate need of.
When I got home from my morning of divine appointments, my husband and mother-in-law had cleaned the house and completed ALL the laundry. There is a GOD!

Another way God showed off was when Dr. Feinstein referred me to one of her friends who owns Caden Lane . She needed an infant boy model for her catalog, website and brochures. So Gunner and I got to spend the next morning OUTSIDE in Boerne with many other mommy and baby models getting photos taken. Katy took the photos I posted on this blog and was a big part of God's prescription of kicking the "Baby Blues" so I could enjoy my boy in blue! Katy the owner and designer of Caden Lane, was very down-to-earth but her stuff is out of this world adorable!
Well I've exercised 3 times this week and just got finished having a "trampoline date" with Katelyn. So does sunshine and exercise really work - you bet!

So to wrap all this up and to tie you in
God is not just our saviour He is our Friend.
He met me when I felt far away,
When my feet wanted to run and
My smile wouldn't stay.

Have you ever felt the same?
No need to worry - No need for shame.
God has a prescription that is not hard to swallow
He's got a plan you just need to follow.
Put on your sneakers, go for a walk
It sounds so easy but easy to balk.
God was faithful to send friends my way
They listened, encouraged and took my kids for the day.
I'm feeling better now I can hear God say:
"I've got your "blues" now embrace mine,
He's 4 weeks old and is going to be fine."

Thanks again for all the love this last month even when I wasn't all smiles.







Saturday, January 10, 2009

Gunner Tory Buck







Let me introduce you to my son, Gunner. He was born December 22, weighed 7.5 and was 20 inches. He has the softest hair, huge hands and is the best sleeper! He is loved by all of us and kissed all the time! His sisters are very gentle with him.
Gunner is almost 3 wks old and time has gone by so quickly. At his one week apt., he had gained an extra 5 oz. The only time he cries is when he gets his diaper changed or a bath. However, tonight was the first time he didn't cry during his bath. I am sure it was because his sister helped and talked baby talk to him the whole time. At the moment his eyes are crystal blue - we are not holding our breath that they will stay that way. My brown eyes are a powerful gene. There is nothing girly about our guy!
2009 has begun with huge changes in our family. We are complete - Masie, Katelyn, Gunner, Ryan and me! A family of five. We praise God for our children, their health and our marriage. I feel great and forget that I was pregnant just a few weeks ago and need to slow down. My health and energy are great gifts from God.
We are in LOVE!




Friday, January 2, 2009

Twas The Night Before Gunner Came









'Twas the night before Gunner came
I walked through my house.
The rooms have been tidied and
Snot marks removed from the couch.
The laundry's been done, the sheets have been changed
The car has been cleaned, all bags have been packed
I even have a stash for a midnight hospital snack.

'Twas the night before Gunner came,
I walked through my house
Knowing that tomorrow few things will be the same.
My Masie Kate will be the big boss (I mean sister) of two.
Precious baby Katelyn, I wonder how she will do?
Tomorrow will bring this chapter to a close.
The beginning of a new season will be here with dawn.
As I lay down to sleep the memory of this chapter in my heart they will keep.

'Twas the night before Gunner came,
I really don't know him except for his name.
His eyes, the color of his hair - if he has dimples
Will his skin be olive or fair?
Down to the details of his tiny toes are still a mystery to me...
But are details my God knows.
These secrets are kept and written by God's hand
In the book of Gunner's life which is about to begin.

'Twas the night before Gunner came
I lay all I love at God's feet.
A simple yet precious offering my god will receive.
My heart is so full, overflowing yet incomplete.
Tomorrow God will open a door of my heart.
The love for my Gunner will never part.
God doesn't just make room to squeeze a little more love into your life.
He opens our heart - expands it a little.
Before you know it your love tank is just the right size and fit as a fiddle.
'Twas the night before Gunner came...
I know you Lord will be in the room -
Handing him to me.
My children are yours.
On loan for a while -
May all I give to them leave You with a smile.
I am your girl and You are my God.
'Twas the night before Gunner came
I sleep now with your approving nod!