Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Compare, Compete -Compacted!

At the end of my counseling session today with Ginger Gray, she said that I should ask God this question, "Lord who do YOU say I am?" I have cared way too much about how I measure up by the world's standards. I have had the habit of comparing my looks, my parenting, how clean my house is with everyone else. I have this picture in my head of a trash compactor - every time I make a comparison to someone else my self esteem gets compacted, squashed. The more I compare the more compacted I become - less able to see myself as the woman God created me to be. What goes in a trash compactor anyway? Things that get tossed. Not things that are treasured and certainly not things that will remain.

So during some spare time at EZ's restaurant I asked God the big question, "Who do YOU say I am?" I asked and expected a response...He's not just God, He's my Dad. I determined in my heart that I would write what came to mind, believe what I wrote and receive God's heart for me. Following is what I recorded:

Father, You are always more concerned with matters of the heart than of the face. Who do YOU say I am?
You, Stacy, my love are MY beloved daughter. You were made in MY image to bring glory and honor to ME. Your heart was made to cry out before me, to worship Me. I will break your heart for what breaks MINE. I send you out daily to bring MY light to dark places. I do this because your heart beats for ME not because of your face. You, Stacy, are glorious in my site. I love your sensitivity to MY voice. Keep listening for me, I will not be silent. Your world needs ME so go now...to the poor, abused, ashamed, alone. I will not let the world over take you because you belong to ME. You, I am fiercely protective of. Your heart is for ME and I am in love with you. Stay soft, seek My face and you will find it. Keep knocking and I will open the most unopenable doors.

It feels kind of silly sharing this love letter between me and God with you. However, imagine getting this kind of letter in the mail from someone important in your life. Ryan left me a note by the coffee pot a few months ago sharing his heart about me. I believed and received every word of it. In fact I have it on my fridge and read it all the time. I posted this so I would be reminded of God's thoughts toward me, His plan to light up my world by walking through it with me.

When I closed my journal at EZ's, sitting across from me was a military man, his wife and infant girl. I remembered what I just had written, "Your world needs ME so go now". I bought the couple two shakes - a chocolate and a vanilla - and had them delivered to their table. The man approached me later and asked if I was responsible? I looked a little guilty. He went on to tell me that his wife cried and said she thought that stuff only happened on commercials. I told him the price of those two shakes was nothing compared to the price he and his wife pay for me and my family. He got quiet, then responded, "I am about to be deployed". I told him I would pray for his wife while he was gone. His baby girl was one month old. May God send many people into his wife's life to surround her with support and encouragement. May God be with her in the lonely nights and with him in the face of the enemy. Bring that husband and father home, untouched by war. You are a God who is capable of miracles.

Now that is not the stuff that gets thrown into a trash compactor! God considers beautiful the feet (not the face) of the one who delivers good news! The simple action of milk shakes totally blessed me because God showed me his heart for these total strangers and for me...He cares! I know sharing this story with you ruins the honor of being anonymous. However, this is what God cares about - people- me and you. God uses us to bring a little of Him to everyday places. It is not the size of our jeans, the brand of our purses or the gym we belong to that matters to God. We were not created to compare ourselves to what gets thrown into a trash compactor - you were created to make a difference...which will remain long after we have gone. LOVE WINS!

Look for Him
Join Him today
In blessing a stranger along the way
It is exciting
It is fun
To be part of a work that God has begun
You never know what a simple act will do
But you will be better 'cause God called on you!

4 comments:

Stephanie said...

What a blessing... it's not about how we look, or what we do for a living, but HOW WE LIVE.

Eileen said...

When I see how you girls have morphed into wonderful women of God, my heart sings. Milkshake blessings! Who knew?

Katy Lin :) said...

thank you so much for sharing this! i love hearing about these "holy moments."

Sarah Mae said...

This is a beautiful story - I'm so glad I found your blog.