Monday, June 30, 2008

Even Though

A few weeks ago, I hired a babysitter to entertain my children so I could have a morning in the garden. My husband, mother-in-law and I had daunting tasks before us. Weeds! Everywhere I looked there were weeds to be pulled. In every row, crowding every plant, as far as the eye could see...weeds. My husband does most of the planting, all of the organic concocting (I can't handle the smells of that stuff) and most of the really hard labor. The weeds are left to me...simple right? This job would be ideal if I had no other responsibilities - no home to clean-then clean again, no children that need attention, no diapers to change, no tears to wipe, no stories to tell, no porch plants to water, no car to clean out (which rarely happens), no phone to answer, no groceries to be bought, no laundry to do...I know you could go on and on too.

So I finally get out to the garden without my almost two year old sitting in my lap, crawling through my arms or standing in an ant pile. I start with one row in mind - if I could just get one row weeded the morning would be a success. However, as I sat in the quiet (enjoying it thoroughly), I began to feel "condemned" by the job I had done the last few months in the garden. I mean pulling weeds was the ONLY job I had out there. Obviously if I had to hire a babysitter, ask for help from my mother-in-law and give my husband the "big brown eyed - please come to my aide look" I failed at my job. I began to feel discouraged even disgusted with the shape of our treasured place.

God didn't let this abuse go on for very long. The Lord began to whisper these two words to me, "Even though..." Those words began to roll through my whole body eventually landing gently in the sacred ground of my heart. "Even though" the weeds were evidence of nothing more than lack of time - not ability or laziness - our garden still produced wonderful fruit and time spent as a family. The roses from mother's day were planted "Even though" none had really bloomed - yet. Our tomato branches are loaded with delicious tomatoes that my girls pick and eat right there "Even Though" weeds surround every bush. I have had fresh sunflower bouquets every week for two months now "Even Though" my daughters have to go through a chigger forest to cut them. My girls have had a blast picking ripe grapes from our arbor "EvenThough" they are sour as sin. We have a pantry full of pickeled okra, carrots, pepporcini peppers, green beans, cucumbers and the best roasted salsa you've ever tasted, "Even Though" our crop didn't produce as expected.
The point I felt God was making was this: "Even Though" you will never be perfect, your soil will never be with out work YOU will still produce fruit for I AM is your gardener. All that HE touches "Even Though" with imperfections still brings glory to HIM.

So, "Even Though" in this season of my life I do not write/blog everyday, I have no important meetings to go to (except my next dr.s apt.), I get angry with my children, I've secretly ordered a milk shake from DQ... God is still very much part of my life. He is my soul's gardener and He is never too busy, too distracted or too good to get His hands dirty in the details of my heart.

Today, I am praising God for the "Even Though" in my life.
I will continue to strive to give God my very best.
Knowing this will bless my husband, my kids and the rest.
The "Even Though" keeps me looking ahead
Not on the imperfect, what once was or the dead.
The "Even Though" holds my head high
For the "Even Though" is ment to draw me nigh
To my Saviour -it's only in HIM that I can boast
With out the "Even Tough" my pride would make me roast.

OH - One more thing! One day (a long, long, time from now) our garden may be featured in a magazine for it's beauty and win all kinds of awards but my home will be empty. There will be no diapers to change, stories to tell or little hands to hold. The only tears I will have to wipe will be my own. So in the mean time I'll weed when I get the chance and sow seeds of kindness, goodness, gentleness (on good days) to my precious children - the most fertile ground entrusted to me. It won't be long and my season for planting will have passed and the flowers of their childhood will be but faded memories. If you ever stop by my blog and are dissapointed that nothing new has been posted know that I am in the garden of my family life and I'll write when the next spare quiet moment appears..."Even Though" they may be few:)

May God meet you where you are "Even Though" you may not like the place you are in.